It's been an action-packed day full of scrabblings to get the washing up done, and concerted efforts to dodge as many questions as possible. (By the way, I'm hoping that I might be able to offer some more insightful satire as the campaign moves on, but am currently having the inspiration sapped from me by the dulcet tones of David Miliband dropping every 't' in the English language in a truly Blair-esque fashion on Question Time. He'll develop a comedy tan and an American accent next.) I've included a few of Day 1's 'best bits' here as well as today's; without further ado, the lowdown on the start of a long month....
To kick off any election campaign, there's nothing like a bit of positive thinking and inspiration from the government to convince us all that they believe firmly enough in their own policies not to have to resort to smear-campaigning right from Day One. Hang on... this was the gist of Miliband Minor's first campaign encounter with the media:
Huw Edwards: What can the Labour Party promise the people of Britain this election?
Ed Miliband: Well, you shouldn't vote for the Tories because they're rubbish.
Meanwhile, David 'Big Dave' Cameron was trying to steer away from such dirty talk, and gave a speech in which the message was essentially: 'I am credible.' (I paraphrase, of course.) Thing is, Big Dave, that that should be a given. Although, to be completely fair, if true, it does constitute a unique selling point in this campaign.
As we moved into Day 2, LibDem leader Nick Clegg was clearly so enraptured by the credible Cameron that he momentarily lost any sense of political conviction. (Is this an excuse that the LibDems should use more often?) On this morning's Radio 4 Today Programme, the conversation, in essence, could be paraphrased thus:
Jim Naughtie: What do you actually believe?
Nick Clegg: I don't know.
Little Jimmy Naughtie wasn't the only BBC hard man asking the hard questions today. Having faced a torrent of jeering in PMQs at 12 noon (more to follow on that tomorrow when Hansard is published), Gordon Brown then had to avoid the following painfully-simple questions from Uncle Nick Robinson:
Uncle Nick: Would you work with another party to keep the Conservatives out?
Beloved PM: The people will make their decision in this election. [Translation: I'm going to dodge this question by distracting you with the bleeding obvious.]
Robinson: Who was deceived by the Tories' policy on the proposed NI increase?
Gordon [translated]: I would prefer to talk about why the Tories are wrong than have to go back down a path that has been strewn with cowpats for me by Peter Mandelson.
Brown: We're going to offer a referendum on electoral reform [like Tony Blair 'offered' a referendum on the EU constitution in 2005].
The first Party Leader of the day to make a full-blown speech was Nick 'Bruiser' Clegg, who appears to be going for the most aggressive fighting talk possible to eliminate any chance of either major side wanting to unite with the LibDems in the event of a hung parliament. I suppose this may be for fear that they may have to take time out of their packed schedule of wafting around, and take some decisive action (heaven forbid). The gist of the speech was as follows:
Nick Clegg: I don't have any policies, so I'm going to make long speeches claiming that every last member of the Labour and Tory Parties are corruption-ridden sleazeballs and compare them to well-known sitcom characters in the hope that people will laugh with me rather than at me for a change.
Meanwhile, Big Dave Cameron was hitting the hyperbole hard. In essence:
Big Dave: If I claim that Labour will tax abstract concepts like 'aspiration', it will make it sound like they're even more tax-happy than they are.
So, there we have it. First overview of the action. I'll aim to finish each day with an amusing quip or story from the day's press...
And finally... The award for the most ingenius/underhand dirty-tricks campaigning method goes to John Prescott: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_20
10/8608153.stm
Huw Edwards: What can the Labour Party promise the people of Britain this election?
Ed Miliband: Well, you shouldn't vote for the Tories because they're rubbish.
Meanwhile, David 'Big Dave' Cameron was trying to steer away from such dirty talk, and gave a speech in which the message was essentially: 'I am credible.' (I paraphrase, of course.) Thing is, Big Dave, that that should be a given. Although, to be completely fair, if true, it does constitute a unique selling point in this campaign.
As we moved into Day 2, LibDem leader Nick Clegg was clearly so enraptured by the credible Cameron that he momentarily lost any sense of political conviction. (Is this an excuse that the LibDems should use more often?) On this morning's Radio 4 Today Programme, the conversation, in essence, could be paraphrased thus:
Jim Naughtie: What do you actually believe?
Nick Clegg: I don't know.
Little Jimmy Naughtie wasn't the only BBC hard man asking the hard questions today. Having faced a torrent of jeering in PMQs at 12 noon (more to follow on that tomorrow when Hansard is published), Gordon Brown then had to avoid the following painfully-simple questions from Uncle Nick Robinson:
Uncle Nick: Would you work with another party to keep the Conservatives out?
Beloved PM: The people will make their decision in this election. [Translation: I'm going to dodge this question by distracting you with the bleeding obvious.]
Robinson: Who was deceived by the Tories' policy on the proposed NI increase?
Gordon [translated]: I would prefer to talk about why the Tories are wrong than have to go back down a path that has been strewn with cowpats for me by Peter Mandelson.
Brown: We're going to offer a referendum on electoral reform [like Tony Blair 'offered' a referendum on the EU constitution in 2005].
The first Party Leader of the day to make a full-blown speech was Nick 'Bruiser' Clegg, who appears to be going for the most aggressive fighting talk possible to eliminate any chance of either major side wanting to unite with the LibDems in the event of a hung parliament. I suppose this may be for fear that they may have to take time out of their packed schedule of wafting around, and take some decisive action (heaven forbid). The gist of the speech was as follows:
Nick Clegg: I don't have any policies, so I'm going to make long speeches claiming that every last member of the Labour and Tory Parties are corruption-ridden sleazeballs and compare them to well-known sitcom characters in the hope that people will laugh with me rather than at me for a change.
Meanwhile, Big Dave Cameron was hitting the hyperbole hard. In essence:
Big Dave: If I claim that Labour will tax abstract concepts like 'aspiration', it will make it sound like they're even more tax-happy than they are.
So, there we have it. First overview of the action. I'll aim to finish each day with an amusing quip or story from the day's press...
And finally... The award for the most ingenius/underhand dirty-tricks campaigning method goes to John Prescott: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_20
10/8608153.stm
